What’s the right age to give my child their first smartphone?

I am asked this question by many parents.  And it is not a simple answer.  Ninety-five percent of teens aged 13 report having access to a smartphone.  But finding the right “sweet spot” is not simple.  And it is not a “’Happy Birthday!’ or ‘Merry Christmas!’ I know you wanted your own smartphone” type of gift.  Such a decision comes with our parental responsibility to know our child’s social emotional development well and their ability to follow parental rules and “boundaries”.  And of paramount importance, as parents we must be aware that this is not a “one time training session” but an ongoing conversation regarding our child’s use, emotions and our monitoring and observing our child’s adjustment.

In many ways, it is using “scaffolding” to increase use and freedom.  As teens, we first took driver’s lessons, got a “learner’s permit” and then our license to drive. But our use of a car came with careful monitoring of such use by our parent(s).  This comparison is true for our child’s first smartphone as well.

Current research suggests that children in their “tween” years 10-13 are more likely to listen and follow our guidance suggesting this may be a “right time”.  But if our child has a history of impulsivity or an inability to follow family, school and social rules at that age, waiting may be in order.

This article from “The Washington Post” is well written and I believe gives good guidance and tools to consider regarding your child and making this ongoing decision process. It also provides further links to more information.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2022/10/13/guide-child-phone/

Please let me know if I can be of assistance to you and your child.

Dr. M