Five Gifts to Pack in Every Child’s Backpack for Life

Author’s Note: This post was sparked by reading Dr. Sarah Lebovitz Suria’s thoughtful Newsweek article, “5 Signs Your Kids Will Be Successful in Life.” While my words and framing are entirely original, her work gave me food for thought. I want to thank her and give credit for inspiring me to translate related foundations into “gifts” parents can intentionally pack in their child’s backpack for life.

Introduction

As we move rapidly into our “season of both thankfulness and giving”, I began to think about my loved ones, my mother and the “gifts” she worked to bestow to each of us, my sons, my granddaughters and each one of my patients.  And as packages arrive here at my office for my own Christmas “pilgrimage” to visit with my granddaughters, I began to think about the greater gifts, those that we cannot purchase with cash or a credit card. “Gifts” that I speak with my oldest son about as he raises my two young granddaughters.

Every child begins life with a backpack — invisible, but essential. Inside it are the tools they’ll carry into school, friendships, challenges, and triumphs. Genetics and temperament determine some of what’s inside from the start, while neurological maturation and exposure to opportunities add new items along the way.

As parents, grandparents, educators, and healthcare providers, our role is to help children pack their backpacks wisely. We cannot choose every item, but we can ensure they carry the gifts that will serve them for a lifetime. These gifts become their “EDC” — their Every Day Carry for life.

1) Emotional Self-Regulation and Attention to Task

This is the backpack’s compass — helping children stay steady when emotions run high and guiding them back to focus. Some children inherit a calmer compass, while others need more practice to keep it pointing north.

Anecdote: When a block tower falls, one child may scream while another takes a deep breath. With gentle coaching — “Let’s pause and try again” — parents help children learn to reset their compass.

Packing tips for parents:

• Model calm in your actions and words, showing “pause” moments.
• Build attention stamina with short, achievable tasks.
• Praise persistence, not just outcomes.
• Create predictable routines to reduce overload.

2) Resiliency

Resilience is the backpack’s sturdy straps — the parts that keep it from breaking under weight. Some children’s straps are naturally strong, while others need reinforcement.

Anecdote: A child falls off a bike and cries. The parent who says, “I know it hurts, but you’re brave — let’s try again tomorrow,” is strengthening those straps.

Packing tips for parents:

• Normalize mistakes as part of learning.
• Encourage problem-solving instead of rescuing immediately.
• Share family stories of overcoming challenges.
• Provide consistent emotional support so children feel secure enough to try again.

3) Curiosity and Joyful Learning

Curiosity is the backpack’s flashlight — illuminating new paths and discoveries. Some children’s flashlights shine brightly from birth, while others need encouragement to switch them on.

Anecdote: A child asks, “Why is the sky blue?” Instead of a quick answer, a parent says, “Let’s look it up together.” The flashlight beams brighter.

Packing tips for parents:

• Answer questions with wonder, not just facts.
• Provide open-ended toys and materials.
• Encourage exploration outdoors, libraries, and museums.
• Celebrate the process of questioning.

4) Cognitive Flexibility and the Ability to Adapt

Flexibility is the backpack’s map — helping children navigate detours and unexpected turns. A rigid map leaves them stuck; a flexible one opens new routes.

Anecdote: A picnic gets rained out. Instead of disappointment, the parent says, “Let’s make it an indoor adventure.” The child learns that maps can be redrawn.

Packing tips for parents:

• Play games that require rule changes.
• Encourage perspective-taking.
• Model adaptability when plans change.
• Praise flexibility as a strength.

5) Prosocial Behaviors and Collaboration

Collaboration is the backpack’s canteen — the shared resource that sustains children on the journey. It teaches them that life is easier, and richer, when we help one another.

Anecdote: During playtime, one child shares a toy and another smiles. The parent who says, “Did you see how happy she was when you shared?” fills the canteen with kindness.

Packing tips for parents:

• Encourage cooperative play and teamwork.
• Model kindness in everyday interactions.
• Use family chores as practice for collaboration.
• Highlight the joy of helping others.

Conclusion

Every child carries a backpack into life. Some items are placed there by genetics and temperament, others by neurological growth, and still others by the opportunities we provide. As parents and caregivers, we are the packers — ensuring children have the compass of self-regulation, the sturdy straps of resilience, the flashlight of curiosity, the flexible map of adaptability, and the canteen of collaboration.

When we help children pack these five gifts, we are not just preparing them for school or work. We are equipping them for a journey filled with meaning, connection, and contribution.

And that, truly, is the greatest gift we can give.

As always, if I can be of assistance, please reach out.

Dr. M