A “Walk in the Woods”: A Personal Story

(This blog post is the fourth and final post in a series regarding physical safety and psychological well-being of our children during unexpected and special circumstances.)

A Personal Story:

This personal recollection occurred while I was finishing my post-doctoral fellowships in Chicagoland. During my training both of my sons were born.

When my oldest son was three years old, he told me he wanted to learn how to and “GO FISHING”.  Having very little experience with fishing (and wondering where in the world my son had gotten this idea), I did what every scientist would do, I bought books about freshwater fishing and read them.  All of them.  I then went to a large fishing shop known for its expertise, got firsthand advice, and purchased very high-end child and adult rods and reels with all the line, sinkers, bobbers, spinners and hooks recommended to me by the experts at the shop.

We tried several locations, had some luck and really began to enjoy fishing. As my second son got a bit older, he was fishing with us too. (I later discovered that my oldest son “caught the fishing bug” on early Saturday mornings.  Before watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Batman or Spiderman cartoons, or Power Rangers, he watched “fishing shows”!)

As I was in many hospitals, clinics, schools and facilities during the completion of my two post-doctoral fellowships, a move ensued for our young family, and I excitedly discovered a forest preserve with fishing only 2 miles away.  The preserve had paved biking trails, picnic areas and opportunities to fish in over a three-hundred-and-fifty-acre lake. I also discovered it had large locations surrounding the lake of open meadows and deep forests.  And we had several seasons of opportunities to enjoy the main area of the preserve.

We began planning to take trips back to our home state to visit and to hike and fish.  And I quickly realized that one of our primary destinations was far more remote and there was far more wildlife (which was not safe for a human to be near or step on).  As bears and venomous snakes did not exist in Chicagoland, the forest preserve was a good place for me to begin teaching my sons how to be both physically and psychologically safe during a “walk in the woods” …anywhere.

So, we started not only becoming better anglers but also becoming better (and safer) hikers. Off the paved trails we went, finding rarely used dirt trails, animal paths, wildlife footprints and beaver dams. All while teaching them more advanced age-appropriate hiking and basic forest safety rules.

One of our favorite fishing spots in the preserve was in a remote area that led to the “backwaters” of the manmade lake.  This specific location appeared rarely used and we typically saw no one. Parking was about 100-125 yards away. A thick wooded forest with a single narrow dirt trail and a few animal paths lay between the small parking lot and the stream. Each of my sons carried their own flashlights, a small hiking essentials and first aid kit, and whistles. (They also had small clothing reflectors I had placed both front and back on their bright blue and red jackets).

One evening as fishing had ended and darkness was approaching, I said, “I'd like to make sure you guys can always find your way back to the car.”

(They did not know that I had placed numerous reflective trail markers on tree trunks on both sides of the trail.)

I assured them “I'll be right behind you.” “How would you guys do it?”, I asked. My oldest son excitedly replied, “With our flashlights Dad!”.

(But he also seemed to be looking at me as if maybe I had somehow become concussed and was thinking… “Maybe Dad forgot?!”).

And as he turned his flashlight on, helping my youngest son turn on his flashlight and taking his hand, they carefully began walking towards the trail.  It lit up like an interstate!

(I WAS right behind them.)

At the end of the trail as we stood together in the dark with our flashlight beams intersecting several yards from the car, I said to them,

“Not all trails will have our markers.  But I want you both to know how brave you just were, how safe you just acted, and how proud I am you cared for each other!”

In that moment I hoped it was a memory I would always carry with me.

Teaching them the importance of staying together, staying on the trail, how to safely step on to a rock and look down before stepping, avoiding fallen tree trunks, watching both the ground ahead of you and also looking up and carefully on all sides, being aware of where you are, where each other and Dad are, while enjoying and respecting nature and it's beauty are all memories I cherish.

I recall them now as I watch my oldest son fish and “walk in the woods” with my two young granddaughters.

As parents teaching physical safety and psychological well-being with developmentally appropriate language and supervised opportunities to practice is important to our children’s immediate welfare.

But as I finish the final post in this four-part series, I realize these may be important lessons they carry onto the “paths” and “trails” of their lives.

Take care of both you and your children as you enjoy the summer.

As always, if I can be of assistance, please reach out.
Dr. M